Just Call Me Professor Fak
Posted: Monday, August 24, 2009
by Mike Fak
http://mikefak.com
I had some fun today. Last week when I spoke at Kiwanis about the book project about the Mill, one of the Kiwanians asked me to come visit his creative arts class at the college.
One of the topics in his class was the book world and he knew I have had some experience with that. Of course I was delighted to lecture within the hallowed halls of a school of higher learning and immediately said yes.
I stayed away from my old jokes as experience has told me old jokes don't work on young people. I relished the thought I had 45 minutes and spent the time going through the entire process of how a book comes to fruition. I also had enough time to explain what and who to watch for in this world of predators.
I didn't judge my audience very well, I assumed a girl in the front row wouldn't be interested but she kept eye contact throughout my talk. A couple youngsters, who looked very studious in the back row, never moved a muscle and as I look back on it, I think they have mastered the art of sleeping with their eyes open. I know that art served me well during my college days. Except when class let out and I found myself waking up in the next class as a smiling teacher said, welcome to my class, Mr. Fak.
I will be honest, One really big, young man came in the class yawning and it took only seconds for him to nod off. Another yawner tried desperately not to doze and continued to give herself whiplash as the talk continued.
I used an old trick and altered the volume of my voice but it didn't wake the big dude up. My voice changes did keep my nodder' on guard and I wouldn't be surprised if she had to go to the nurse and get a neck brace after the class.
There was one young man whose face I hardly saw. He was furiously writing down almost everything I said in a notebook and I felt like telling him, "Son nothing I'm saying is really that important."
I think what woke the class up the most was when I talked about where the money is in books and where it isn't. I didn't paint any pie in the sky notions about the business and gave them the names of a few websites where more can be learned about the book world.
I think a lot of them were surprised by how many books, especially vanity published, never make the author a dime. I think I saw in the eyes of one girl 'Well, that takes care of that idea" as I explained reality.
I did get to spend a few minutes on the newspaper business since that is their next section in their syllabus and they were more receptive to learning a bit about that. Probably because they read papers but outside of books for classes, have no clue what any other book looks like.
When I was done there were a few good questions so I knew I had reached a few with something of a little value.
All in all I had two definite sleepers and two sleepers who woke up during my lecture so I batted 500. Not bad in this day and age for an old man.
Oh, the big guy who started the class off, sleeping did wake up, but only to change positions before going back into blissful sleep with the droning of an old man's voice as a lullaby.
A couple times I almost joined him.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Mikey,You have that same effect on me when you drone on for ever about ZZZZZ, Opps where were you? Or yah some thing about ZZZ, oh never mind.Jim Griffin
I think sleep or doze is very contagious like yawning. May be next time you should not make eye contact with sleepy students while talking!
Mike,I loved this! As a professional speaker, I talk about 'sleepers.' Every audience has one or two, but 4? (Some people actually do listen with their eyes closed.) Then again, it is college! And another thought. For college students, an 8 am class is a sleeper; however, for adults, that is an excellent time to speak. Of course with students, it is pretty safe to say that anything before 10 or after 11 is questionable!Thanks for a good laugh. (So I shouldn't try to write the big one?)Nancy
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