Remembering My Most Embarrassing Moment...maybe
Posted: Monday, May 18, 2009
by Mike Fak
http://mikefak.com
I'm not sure if I ever wrote that three decades ago I was in the car business for a time.
I had a friend who opened a Ford store and he asked me to come on board to help manage the mid-sized dealership.
Now in the car business, with lots of dead time to kill, the guys like to play practical jokes on each other to while away the hours.
Perhaps the funniest one is a prank all the guys in the service department pulled on me one night.
The dealership had recently won a service excellence award and the mechanics and parts people were invited up to Peoria to enjoy a fancy meal, all the hootch they could drink and then cap off the night with getting an award.
Other dealerships would be there and auto people when not competing are a close-knit band of screwballs that always have fun together.
I was put in charge of making sure our crew of grease monkeys and parts people didn't make fools of themselves in front of the Ford Motor Co. honchos. Well, that didn't exactly work.
I remember we all just fit in a fifteen passenger van and although I had planned to drive, another, more responsible mechanic than I said he was on a cold medication and couldn't drink so he would be the designated driver.
That was fine with me. I enjoyed all the guys and I decided to just sit in the back and have some fun with all the guys as we made the 45 minute drive to Peoria.
We hadn't gotten far at all when one of the guys yelled out to pull over at an old highway tavern. He ran in and came out a minute later with a bottle of Schnapps. Still, I didn't see a problem as a bottle among fifteen guys sure can't do much damage: or so I thought.
I kept my eye on the driver and as the bottle got passed he begged off taking any so I felt at ease. Thus when the bottle came around to me, I took goodly swigs not needing to worry about getting all of us safely getting to the dinner.
As we neared, Peoria, I felt a strong buzz from my swigs and mentioned that out loud. It was then that everyone in the van burst out in laughter. I was advised that no one had taken any of the Schnapps and that I in fact had downed the entire bottle.
Now, I am a big boy and due to years of conditioning I could take the hootch without tumbling over in a heap but I was fairly well lit up.
I remember when we went into the swank hotel that there was tons of great food and open bars all over the place and I watched as my merry men went around getting themselves pie-eyed.
Every dealership had their own huge 15-foot-diameter round table and for the most part I just sat at mine and yelled across the room to friends from other dealerships.
From time to time, just to help wash the food down, I did nail a brewskie or two and found my intelligence level dribbling down into a tie with algae and flea dander.
I admitted to all the guys that they had pulled a real dandy on me, but they weren't done yet.
Being a tad numb to the world, I didn't notice it when the mechanic next to me tucked a goodly portion of the table cloth into my pants.
So, when the Ford big shot called out to our dealership to accept our award, I didn't notice my circumstances. Bolting up and quickly making a trot towards the dais. It took all of one second to yank everything off the table. Food, drinks, candles, plates, everything hit the floor as I watched in disbelief.
Now I have never been one to be phased by embarrassment so I did the only things I could think of. First I pulled the apron out of my pants and yelled out, "Well, it worked in rehearsal." I then went up to the podium, took the statue-like award and lifting it high in the air said, "Yo Adrian, I did it." Then chanting the theme song from Rocky I walked back to our table all the while the entire hall of dealership personnel, except the Ford officials, proceeded to stand up and shout "Rocky, Rocky, Rocky.
I remember the next morning my friend, the owner, asked me if there was anything I wanted to say about the previous night. I told him, "No, just the usual stuff, nothing out of the ordinary that I can think of." I was being honest as nothing I did the previous night had anything to do with thinking. But it was funny then and it's funny now.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)Mike, I am rolling on the floor!! I have been quite a jokester myself and this really takes me back.Funny stuff!!Yep Ken. I remeber those days of being young and foolish. Of course now I'm old and foolish.Mike
Mike, you can say those were the days when you young guys used to laugh and joke like no tomorrow. it's all excusable and logic. I can imagine the fun you had had in those years. It's contagious!Nice article!HildaThanks Hilda. Yeh, I guess I always pulled zany stunts going back to third grade...Hey maybe I will tell you about that one in an article.Mike
That is hilarious Mike. I can envision you yelling across the room to people at other tables. I love a guy who can share his most embarrassing moment and laugh at himself! Thanks for sharing your story with us.
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