Nibbling Fish Stopped From Chomping Dead Skin On Feet
Posted: Thursday, March 05, 2009
by Mike Fak
http://mikefak.com
Now that's a column title that will have Google Search' humming with activity. I say again I can't make up, no matter how many beers, some of the stuff that hits the news.
For fun I do a little radio show locally on the Atlanta Illinois WLCN station. I team up with my old television buddy and we spend most of the time just laughing.
I usually don't go back and check what I said. I guess I have heard my gravely voice enough and nothing I ever come up with is of any true significance.
I did have to listen to last week's show as I was told by many that Jim and I started laughing so hard that they did too and that isn't a good idea when a person is driving or sneaking a listen at work.
The story that set us off was about beauty salons in Florida getting notice to stop a new pedicure system that has been widely used overseas for centuries. The gist is a person puts their feet in a tub of water and a school of little fish then goes around nibbling off all the dead skin. The state shut the practice down because they didn't like multiple feet in the same tub of water and the fact fish could be eating something not especially safe let alone palatable to the fish. I guess they fear something might be passed on if the fish thought something off a person's foot tasted so bad that they puked it back into the tub.
Yep, the whole story set me off on one of those silly extrapolations I do from time to time.
I started off with the fact that using nature to cure one's ills, even just dead skin, isn't something new. People use leaches for serious bruises and maggots are put on infected wounds. So what is the big deal if a fish gets a little toe jam snuck in with the dead skin. Does the Florida board of health have a study that proves toe jam causes cancer in lab mice? I did mention that maybe some people have athletes foot but surely someone getting a pedicure thinks so much of their feet that they wouldn't allow that to happen.
I recalled the Nature Show showing hippos going under water, opening their mouths and letting fish swim around cleaning their teeth. The hippos don't know how to use a toothbrush and these little fish go around chewing all the stuck food off their tusks and everyone comes out a winner.
That started another round of laughter as Jim asked me what the hippos do in return for the help from the fish. I said, "They promise not to close their mouths."
If you have read my columns for any amount of time, you know once I catch a notion I push it to the extreme and this one was just begging for embellishment.
I said how none of the current denture tablets really work worth a hoot so how about getting some of these fish in a tank and just dropping your choppers in the water every night.
Maybe there are fish that nibble away food and others can polish the dentures up. In the morning then you have a bright set of chewers and the fish are full and happy too. Maybe the choppers will give a person fish breath' but at least your smile will look like a million bucks.
I also have to ponder if certain fish are better nibblers than others. Will there be signs popping up saying With our fish you get a nibble but never a bite'? Then again how about a really large tub of water so that the fish can grow to the size of their confinement like goldfish do. That way when a beauty parlor is having a downtown in people who want their feet nibbled, they can use the tub as a pay pond for incompetent fishermen.
Of course it had to come back to what would happen if I put my stinky, nasty feet in a tub of fish. The verdict was unanimous that within seconds all the fish would be floating on the top of the tub of water: belly up.
This wasn't the only heady topic we covered last Friday. We also got into pizzas and why did I have to have a slice from each different kind an eatery gave out for free last week during election night. I raved about seven of the eight I tried, judging the pineapple as being too un-Italian for my taste buds. Like I said, we don't exactly cover world issues on the radio. But then again we don't want to. Sometimes a person just needs to have fun; the world be damned.
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Hi Mike.The fish pedicure thing is just silliness. Oh, not the process, the concern, really. Yup, you had way too much fun with it. :)So, what's your take on the ban the Barbie doll thing?Thanks for the fun,DianneHi Dianne. Yeh, we get overly cautious don't we.As far as the Barbie ban that is a hoot and I'm already working on turning that into a story for next Tuesday.Mike
I came across the article about the fish too. I think people will pay for anything these days, just give them a new gimmick. Thanks again for adding more laughter to my life. Linda DThanks Linda. Sometimes the news is just funny.Mike
Growing up in the hills of western Massachusetts, we used to sit on rocks and let our legs dangle in Cold River. There were tiny fish that nibble on dead skin and scabs, if you had them on your legs. It felt good, not like piranha, but ticklish. They seemed to target only the dead stuff.Thanks Greg.. Back then you didn't think of grabbing those fish and charging for pedicures did you.Mike
Mike,I'm thinking of you putting your head under water with the fish!!! Who chickens out first?Jim Griffin
I kept wondering if you were going to mention Mythbusters. This sounds like it would be a great episode! Funny stuff!!Thanks Ken. Yeh. I can just see the guys getting nibbled on.Mike
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