My zaniest IRS and state tax problems
Posted: Monday, February 02, 2009
by Mike Fak
http://mikefak.com
It's just about that time of the year for all of us to gather up all those important papers and stubs we should have kept together in the first place. Being a do-it-yourself kind of guy, I like to do my own taxes. It means a long day of headaches and head scratching. But going through the tax book looking for just that one extra deduction is one of those things I enjoy doing. The tax codes also keep me abreast of just how morassed in ridiculous verbiage and redundancy that our beurocracy has become over the years. Now I have had my share of problems with the tax collectors over the years and here are a few of what I consider the screwiest.
The amount I owed that year was $1.00. I sent a letter back asking them if they really wanted me to mail them a quarter every three months. I didn't receive a reply.
In Illinois the tax forms try to make their gouging us out of hard earned money more palatable by trying to look like good guys. They have these little boxes on the form asking if I want to donate to all these causes with my refund money. I never do, primarily since I have to send in money. But I have to ask those worthwhile causes and charities if they really want their names attached to a form that is asking very mad people at the moment if they want to give them some money.
It's sort of like standing outside in the cold while your home is burning down and having a Salvation Army bell ringer walk up to you with a kettle asking for a donation for the homeless.
My first run in with the IRS was three decades ago. I had a decent stock that had a dividend. I received a letter that four years previous I hadn't reported all my dividends and now owed more in taxes and penalties than I did the original dividend.
What had happened was both the company and the brokerage house had sent me and the IRS a tax statement notifying of a dividend disbursement. The IRS never noticing it was from the same stock or that the six figures in the dividend were identical, just decided I must have received two dividends and only reported one.
I got all kinds of threats, from liens against my house, to dog napping and claiming the rights of ownership if I ever bore a cute daughter. It took a full year of back and forth before someone with a conscience connected to brain matter, actually looked at my file. I finally received a letter saying all was forgiven and to please disregard all the threats they had made including stalking and the dead chickens I had found in my mail box.
From time to time over the years, I have asked for a payment plan to pay taxes. I never needed a lot of help. Usually I would give them a chunk and ask to split the balance into two more chunks in the next couple of months. I always loved it when I would get the letter from them that started out; According to our records'. No, it isn't according to your records. I was the one who was honest enough to report my income and ask for a payment plan. It was according to my records that I owed you folks more taxes.
One year, I received a letter not only approving my payment plan but stretching it out for so long that I wouldn't be done before the continents of North America and Europe floated together. The letter said I could pay $50 a month to catch up and that interest and fees would be added each month. The next month I sent the balance since even Benny the loan shark on the corner doesn't have the fees and interest rates our IRS has.
You may recall I wrote about the IRS saying I owed them money but when I was supposed to get my stimulus check, they never heard of me. It's in my archives of stories here at Searchwarp, I'm sure.
I can't wait for what letter I get next. I'm sure it will be another story worth telling. They always are.
This Article has been viewed 1,554 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.