Remembering the Dumb Things About Christmas Past
Posted: Tuesday, December 23, 2008
by Mike Fak
http://mikefak.com
As a sexagenarian I can easily write about something a half-century ago that can be considered nostalgic. As time goes by, there seems to be a softening to one's memories. Things weren't quite as bad in our memories as they were in reality. We have forgotten arguments and remember more of the laughs. But being a card-carrying curmudgeon, I do remember some of those early Christmases and that not everything was a Frank Capra movie back then.
Many of you said you remember the old huge Christmas tree lights that ran in series meaning when one went out they all went out. That was fun trying to find that sucker wasn't it? It was always in the back in an impossible to reach area wasn't it? The lights were so big and produced so much heat that the furnace wouldn't kick on unless it was 20 below zero.
Then there were those strange new artificial Christmas trees that were so flammable you couldn't put any lights on them. Instead you had a big red/green/yellow color wheel that you plugged in and shone on the silver tree to give it some semblance of color. I remember dad telling me after a downstairs neighbor showed us their new fake tree exclaiming to me they must be Communists.
I remember the high quality cap pistols that were incredibly life-like and actually made out of metal. Of course it was real easy to get the space between your thumb and forefinger pinched in the trigger mechanism but they sure were neat.
BB guns were prevalent back then and of course every one of us almost did shoot our eye out before the day was over. Sometimes one of us almost shot the other's eye out but we did stick together back them. I think that's when the word ricochet was invented to keep parents from fighting with each other over whose kid was the dumbest and least careful.
There were the family dogs of course who weren't very bright. Seeing and smelling a live tree in the living room they often got confused and would relieve themselves on a present or two.
I remember my first wood burning set and how I decided to check if the etching tool was hot enough by touching it between two fingers. Those still are the biggest blisters I ever got in my life.
I remember going to Grandpa and Grandma Treacy's house for Christmas dinner and how the family walked the mile and a half because the old car was buried in a snow drift and if it wasn't it wouldn't have started anyway.
Mom used to always tell the story back when I was a toddler of how I was on the sled being pulled and I fell off but they didn't notice for about a city block. When they came back for me my head was still buried in a snow drift. Mom always laughed herself sick telling that one.
I remember asking Grandpa what Christian Brother's Brandy tasted like and taking a sip I thought my innards had erupted into flames.
I recall getting a bicycle and ignoring the fact there were snow drifts everywhere tried to ride it only to fall and knock my head on an iceberg on the sidewalk.
I remember always asking for a pocketknife and never getting one because they were too dangerous. I always wondered how that could be as I sat with butter on blisters, bandages on cuts and welts on my forehead.
Like I said I remember Christmas past the way they really happened.
Good Lord I really miss those days.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Remember that this year's Christmas is tomorrow's legend, especially a half-century from now.
This Article has been viewed 2,752 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Hi Mike.Great memories! I remember the color wheel and the cap pistols, but I never tested my wood burning etching tool that way. Dad told me to try it first on a scrap piece of wood. A little parental guidance can be a good thing.I've heard the story about losing a kid in a snow drift off of a sled from other Chicagoans. You guys must get some killer drifts.Our dogs never did pee on the trees, but they did have a tendency to eat our Christmas stockings. Really pretty poop for a couple of days afterward.Yeah, I miss those days too.Thanks for the nice ride down memory lane.Dianne
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.