Getting Lost; In a House.
Posted: Thursday, November 13, 2008
by Mike Fak
http://mikefak.com
I wrote previously that we went up to Chicago for a wedding. Of course when a gaggle of family members get together, the old stories come out in droves.
I'm talking about the really good ones. The ones that are just as funny on the one-hundredth telling as they are the first. Naturally I have a few douzies in the family archives but it seems this one always comes up in conversations on both sides of the family when boners or blunders are retold.
John and family had just moved about six months previous and my wife had been up there and saw their new house. I couldn't make that trip so this would be my first visit to John's new digs. The event was a twin graduation ceremony for two of my nieces.
I probably should preface this story by mentioning my wife and I can get lost going anywhere. Over the years we have turned getting lost into such a science that on a trip to Dubuque Iowa, we got lost in Davenport and knew exactly what to do because we had gotten lost in that town's streets before: twice. By the way, you don't even have to go through Davenport to get to Dubuque.
Anyway, Sharon had directions and we were doing pretty well on our trek up north. We had been there so many times that the only possibility of becoming lost would be when we entered my brother's new suburb which was just being built.
My brother's new house was on the corner of a street but as we pulled into the subdivision my wife wasn't sure if we were pulling up to John's house or not. In just six months, dozens of additional homes had been built and sold and the neighborhood looked different to someone who had been there only once.
Turning into the subdivision there were a load of cars in the corner house's driveway and on the street and I believed we had arrived. I think I wanted to believe that because all three of us had been in the car too long drinking sodas and coffee and all three of us were in desperate need of a bathroom.
I jumped out of the car as I was sure I was about to burst and yelled back that I would be right back to help with the suitcases.
Going to the door, a young unfamiliar woman with a huge dog answered the door and saying hi and shaking her hand I walked into the house.
I didn't think anything of it since I imagined my brother would have friends and neighbors I wouldn't know and he had asked one of them to get the door. John's family always was getting dogs so why not this moose of an animal I figured.
I walked into the living room which was filled with people I didn't know but still it didn't dawn on me. Everyone was friendly and I made the rounds shaking hands and introducing myself as John's brother. The faces showing no recognition still didn't tip me off so I continued on, shaking hands and looking for the bathroom out of the corner of my eye.
While all of this was going on my wife and son kept calling for me at the front door but I couldn't imagine they needed me right that second.
Finally I turned back to the young woman and the dog and my family and had it explained to me I was at the wrong house.
Everyone in the living room burst into laughter and all I could think of was to tell the young lady she had a lovely home and great friends as I walked back out the door with a snarling dog telling me I didn't belong.
My son was beside himself with embarrassment telling me it was obvious that none of the vehicles had Fak vanity plates and that this wasn't the house.
My wife was in too much pain as her laughing so hard just made her need to find a bathroom all the quicker.
Luckily my brother's house was at the other end of this same block and as my son anguished in having the most embarrassing day in his life just happen, My wife and I stormed through the door and explained we would say hello to everyone, who for the most part was familiar, just as soon as we used the john at John's.
Fortunately my brother's house was identical to the one I got lost in so I was able to quickly point out the facility to a doubled over, hysterically laughing spouse.
This story came up at the wedding of course. It seems although everyone at some time has gone to the wrong house. I not only went to the wrong house but almost stayed for the party not realizing I was lost.
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)mike,your wife's going to need to get some type of buzzer or intercom for you, to make sure you show up at your own home every night. i hear it just gets worse :)best regards,sueThanks Sue. It already has.Mike
Great story and pretty funny as well. I can't comment much more than that.
JamesWell, thanks for what you did say James.Mike
Mike, I wish I had been one of the guests after you left. You were the life of the party in absentia. A hoot of a story. Thanks for sharing it.Yes, Avis I'm sure that family tells the story whenever they get together too.Thanks Mike
Mike, This is hilarious--that laugh out loud humor I love--the fact that it actually happened makes it so much better! Great story! I'll be smiling for some time. Warmly, BarbaraThanks Barbara. It still brings a laugh when the family gets together.Mike
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