Wit, Wisdom, and Newspaper Business Sarcasm
Posted: Tuesday, September 02, 2008
by Mike Fak
http://mikefak.com
In the trade, all columnists have their own great stories to tell. From how they started to how they finished there are always some great laughs and deep insights into what made someone a success or not. As an expert in the "or not" side of the business, I have kept tabs on some of the more interesting bits of advice, comments and criticisms that either came my way or the way of a friend in the business. The golden nuggets that we all have received from editors or mentors always are worth saving and remembering. I have written down the best either told to me or told to me by someone else who caught the brunt of the criticism. I thought these few are worth sharing with all of you. I will leave it a mystery as to which ones were said to me and which ones were told to me from others in the trade.
You're better than most but not as good as many.
This column of yours is a smooth as a babies butt. Of course I'm talking about a baby porcupine.
I know you know what it feels like to be hungry but if you keep writing like this you will know what it feels like to be starving.
You get enamored with words. Get enamored with what you are trying to say. You have just so much time to keep a reader's interest. Don't be redundant.
If you write something as fact, explain how you came to that fact. Support it with evidence or sources. Otherwise explain that it is your opinion and everyone has one of those so make yours interesting.
I know you plan on writing books. I don't have the space for one of them on the Op/Ed page so cut this back.
I'm not sure if this is a great column or not. By any chance do you have this in an English language version?
I can grab a column on this subject from a hundred different educated idiots. Any chance you could give me something on this that shows you are educated but not an idiot?
If they had put you in charge of the Watergate story, Nixon would still be president.
I imagine it's unfair of me to think you will ever grasp the computer age. That's asking a lot from someone whose college graduation announcement was chiseled into a cave wall.
You're not a bad writer. You just write badly.
Is there any chance you can give me a scoop that isn't already in my kid's history book?
I want you to look up the origination of the word deadline. There are two different definitions. One deals with death, the other with getting your work to me on time. If you fail to do the latter, you will learn all about the former.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)hi mike,nice. i liked the sayings. i needed to smile, thanks for sharing and allowing that to happen,best regards,sue
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