2008 Olympics; Toilet Blunders a New Sport.
Posted: Friday, March 21, 2008
by Mike Fak
http://mikefak.com
Well the Olympics are just a few months away and Beijing China is all ready for the 500,000 foreigners expected to come to their city and country to watch the games. The stadiums are ready. The venues are prepared. And there aren't any regular toilets available. Yeh, that's what I said.
It seems that in China and many other Asian countries they use what are described as squat toilets instead of what we Westerners would call a sit down toilet. I have no idea exactly what a squat toilet is but as a young man who went camping frequently, I sort of have my own idea of what a squat toilet might look like.
China has boasted of spending $40 billion dollars on the building of the 37 venues that will be used to host the games. I guess they figured a good cost cutting measure would be to use the system they are used to and the heck with the foreigners. By the way; has anyone asked about toilet paper?
The complaints got more press last weekend when the San Diego Padres played the Los Angeles Dodgers at the new Olympic baseball park and players didn't exactly know what to make of the squatting porta potties brought in to help them remain regular. I could not confirm reports that after the game, both teams ran to the airport and demanded the plane take off immediately. It is on record however that the game was the fastest in baseball history
The Chinese deputy director of venue management has admitted he has received many complaints about the stools or the lack thereof and says they will try to get the lead out and convert as many bathrooms as possible to the more foreign friendly sit down models before the games begin in August.
Chinese officials stated that at least the three major facilities will be converted in time but most cannot and we sit downers will have to live with what the culture of the country we are visiting accepts as normal.
In a way, I suppose that is a good thing. Imagine if the Chinese government went on a tear buying up sit down toilets. In no time at all there would be a shortage of porcelain stools and then what will we do here at home. Our gasoline has shot through the roof with the Chinese becoming major consumers. I don't want to see me having to make do with a leaking or cracked toilet because they have gone up in price. Heck, toilets might even be put on the commodities market and you know what will happen then.
I suppose this is just one of those things that makes life interesting. I suppose we should revel in our differences and embrace the customs and cultures of other nations.
I just hope the squat toilet never catches on in America. I mean, how would a person ever get anything read if they did away with the sit downs?
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Well, I bet the Chinese women don't have a problem with Chinese men squatting over the potty for an hour perusing their latest magazine!Only an hour. That seems reasonable to me. I once read the Rise and Fall of the Third Reich waiting for nature. Be careful Jean. This seems like a female chauvenist statement. Thanks. Mike
Playboy subscriptions would drop like a rock if men had no where to sit and, uhh, read the articles. Another fine job Mike, way to keep us adoring fans abreast of current events! lolAha. Another female sexist rears her ugly head. Studies show women stay on the pot 2.7 minutes longer then men. I read that on the toilet just the othet day. Thanks for stopping by Myla. Mike
I'm going to guess that the Chinese don't have any problem with doing their number twos. I don't know about you, but at my age, I can't squat for very long. Or maybe it's all the Kung Fu and Tai Chi training that gives them all really strong thighs. Great article; lots of fun to read!I thought of that too Dianne. It takes nothing at all for me to fall over when I'm doing something in a squat position. I imagine Tidy Bowl sales are pretty bad in China but maybe floor disinfectant is a winner. Thanks for reading. Mike
Seems I saw 'Made in China' stamped on a toilet seat recently. Maybe they should just keep some of them! Thanks for another excellent read. At my desk.Thanks LM. I noticed that too. I wonder if the people making those seats know what they are for or do they think they are horse collars or something/ Mike
It's all about religion, Mike. Obviously the Chinese leaders have never had to pay homage to the porcelain god. As for aiming, you have obviously never been in a public men's room any time recently. Written from home...on my laptop...NOT!!Yeh, Danny. Soon it will be fair time and that's when the inaccuracy of the modern American man will be proven thousands of times. I don't know about the NOT. I will bet you have a wireless which was invented specifically for the bathroom. Mike
hi mike, so we've boiled it down to toilets, eh? i shall watch the games from my living room, right next to my sit down bathroom, equipped with scented spray and a flush handle! thanks for a funny take on a serious matter, that is, if you really have to go to the bathroom badly. best regards, sueThanks Sue. The toilet in my house is an essential piece of furniture. I might watch the Olympics on my throne just in case. Mike
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