Valentines Day Should Last a Lifetime
Posted: Monday, February 12, 2007
by Mike Fak
http://mikefak.com
I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. Let’s look at this honestly. Valentine’s Day is just another of those materialistic holidays invented by retailers to try and create a need to spend money to prove one’s affection to a spouse.
The truth be told, everyday should be Valentine’s Day when it comes to your partner. Now in my line of work as a writer, columnist and radio station blabber-mouth, I spend a great deal of time telling people what I think about this world we live in. My wife, Sharon, allows me this strange way of making a living with only one caveat. She asks that I leave her and her name out of my diatribes about life in the twenty-first century.
At night, when I am at my weakest, I re-live events and decisions that I wish without hope that I could do differently. There is nothing I can do about those mistakes of course except try and learn from them and make sure I don’t become a repeat offender.
The one thing in my life I have never had a moment’s doubt about nor ever had a single “what if" regarding, is my decision to ask Sharon Sheehan if she would marry me. I asked that question in 1978 during a snowstorm that had everything except my love and admiration for that girl on hold. She said yes and I am eternally grateful for that one simple word.
Through the years we have experienced a lifetime of joys and sorrows together. Deaths, births and good times and bad have been a commodity we have shared, just like our vows said we would on September 2 nd 1979.
When we were starting out, I recall the cold nights where a necessarily turned down thermostat found us in a cold apartment. Sharon, wearing a sweater and wrapped in a blanket would sit on the couch and tell me it was just fine. Of course it wasn’t but she knew we were saving for a house and there were no complaints to be heard from her.
I am certain that the birth of our son Timothy was the most profound event in our lives. His ensuing diagnosis of having Cerebral Palsy and the fact our most beloved son would always be different from the “normal" world was the hardest event for us to handle but it was always tempered by the blessing that his mind was sound and ever so powerful.
With the dearest and most reverent respect for my mother and Sharon’s mother as well, I have been blessed to be witness to the finest mother I have ever seen in how she managed in the growth and maturing of our son.
I will forever recall my wife singing; “Take me out to the ballgame" as she laid Tim down to sleep. She sang that song because it was the only one she could think of that seemed like a calm, peaceful song to help Tim go to sleep. I remember as if it was yesterday her tears as I lovingly chided her choice of melodies. She cried that she didn’t know how to be a mother. But oh she surely did.
As I worked the long hours it was Sharon who helped Tim exercise his legs that just wouldn’t work the way they were supposed to. She was the one who trundled him off to the doctors and therapists while I worked to keep the bills from becoming overdue.
It was my wife who instilled in Tim a love for reading that has carried through to his young adult life.
I remember how I once told my son that I wouldn’t count the buying of books against his allowance and how Sharon has laughed over the years at how this slip has cost me thousands of dollars. My son, one semester, removed from graduating from college tells me the money was well spent.
Throughout the years it has been our blessing that both of us have come to care more about our son than each other or ourselves. This isn’t a weakness. It is our strength. It is our mutually giving ourselves totally to our child that has been our bedrock. It has been our foundation that has kept us together for 27 years.
In all the years we have been together it is a fact we had some rough times financially and some very good times. Never once did my wife demand anything for herself. When asked what she wanted for a gift for whatever holiday including Valentine’s Day, she would always pragmatically tell me how we needed a new vacuum or oven or washing machine.
It was just a few years ago that an exceptionally good year allowed me to buy her a brand new car, one she would never have asked for herself, and I remember her smile that day to the point I know that the gift of that car was more special to me than her.
All of these memories and a book’s worth or more, are of course, what a marriage is. It is sharing the good, the bad and the indifferent with complaint to the circumstances but without blame to each other.
Yes, another Valentine’s Day is approaching. This year I recommend you give your spouse something really special. Give them an entire year of affection and appreciation and caring. Then, next year around this time, you can do it again.
This gift doesn’t cost a dime. Only a moment’s thought from time to time.
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Mike, this article was really touching and heart felt. Your right Valentine’s day should be observed every day of the year. Oh this particular day is kind of significant to me because Valentines day of 1968 was when I got in my first firefight in Nam. When you get a chance check out my article titled "Valentine ridge”I knew that Dave. I read that piece of yours a while back. Thanks for the feedback. Mike
Mike, what an incredibly moving, revealing and heartfelt article! I agree with you. Each day is when we should shower our love on those we love. However it is done, small subtle ways, it should be done. I am happy you recognize your blessings in the midst of life's challenges! :)Thank you. I'm am a pragmatist so I like to harp and complain about the little things but I try to stay on balance with the bigger chalenges in life.We can all count our blessings. All we have to do is sweep away our problems to get at them. Thanks again. Mike
I enjoyed reading of your experiences (as above comment) I repeat, heartfelt and I agree. Valentine's is special to me, as I received my Salvation, near that day over 30 year's ago; I did not send in that experience because it is in form of Poetic Verse. I did submit " The Valentine's Day Special"I'm glad the day has special meaning for you. We can all use a little salvation in these days we live in. Thanks Mike
I could not have said it better! My husband enjoys buying me presents & I enjoy receiving them, but it's the year-around 'little things' that have kept us together for 21 years. Many more happy years to you and Sharon!Thanks Jean. Try this one. On weekends we have a contest who can make the coffee and bring a cup to the other person first. Congratulations on your 21 years.
Mike, thank you for sharing this beautful moving article. You are a good man Mike and God has certainly blessed you.Thank you Rose. I am blessed but I can be very grumpy. As for being a good man, I will wait to see if the boss agrees with you.
As always,another great piece Mike.Thanks Anonymous. It is appreciated.
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